Poised between life and death – too old to start again, not old enough for the pastures, I realise that I am close to the finish line with little evidence of my life or that I even existed. The sadness for me is overwhelming. What I craved and still do crave, was earning a living … More Poised Dreams
Life after diagnosis is very strange. A limbo of self-discovery and learning, mainly from the wonderful Autistic community I found online and in local groups. Far better educators than anyone else I’ve met. My rollercoaster ride of highs and lows continues, mixing my ‘aha’ moments with many tears of grief and relief. I still feel … More Limbo of Wires
Oh, how time flies or as my Dad used to say, “Time doesn’t half tempus fugit.” I’ve been absent for a while dealing with ongoing health issues. However, I’m back with a sense of achievement. The Kent Autistic Trust held their AGM this week. I attend one of their support groups and we were asked … More Buried Gifts
With two diagnoses under my belt, a ton of research plus medical input, all the mysteries of my life have been solved. Yes! Solved! For years I was visiting the doctors, presenting with several issues over and over, asking them repeatedly for what I sensed had a definitive answer. Not one of those highly paid … More All the Answers
Just sharing an experience I found slightly amusing and a tad annoying. Enjoy. I met a lady I knew vaguely via a writing class I used to attend. She asked why I’d stopped going to the class. I felt I could trust her because she’s disabled, so shared my recent diagnosis. This is a rough … More Everyone’s An Expert!
For the past few months I’ve been coming to terms with my new diagnosis of Asperger’s, travelling a winding path of who I am and who ‘they’ are. One small thing that feels uncomfortable is wearing the term ‘Aspie’, my new label. Am I Asperger’s? ASD? Autistic? On the Spectrum? All, I guess, but I … More Small Things
The verdict is in and after seven hours of assessments, I am officially Autistic. A High Functioning Asperger on the Autistic spectrum. All these years living as a neurotypical (NT) person, suddenly I’m from another world. Or am I? At the beginning of this blogging process I’d only just begun the diagnostic journey and whilst … More The Colour of Diagnosis
It is truly terrifying to have lived a life without understanding why it is a spectacular failure. Waking to a realisation that my world is not what I thought it was and can never be what I wanted it to be, is, by far, one of my most devastating moments. Before and after, a distinct … More Truth of Me