Buried Gifts

Fifty-seven years and I grieve Please turn back the clock Give me my reprieve By not listening you ruined my life And here I am at the end of days Sat on a rubbish heap for the lost In realisation that it is too late Gifts discarded to the four winds Potential held by regret … More Buried Gifts

Poised Dreams

Poised between life and death – too old to start again, not old enough for the pastures, I realise that I am close to the finish line with little evidence of my life or that I even existed. The sadness for me is overwhelming. What I craved and still do crave, was earning a living … More Poised Dreams

Limbo of Wires

Life after diagnosis is very strange. A limbo of self-discovery and learning, mainly from the wonderful Autistic community I found online and in local groups. Far better educators than anyone else I’ve met. My rollercoaster ride of highs and lows continues, mixing my ‘aha’ moments with many tears of grief and relief. I still feel … More Limbo of Wires

Buried Gifts

Oh, how time flies or as my Dad used to say, “Time doesn’t half tempus fugit.” I’ve been absent for a while dealing with ongoing health issues. However, I’m back with a sense of achievement. The Kent Autistic Trust held their AGM this week. I attend one of their support groups and we were asked … More Buried Gifts

All the Answers

With two diagnoses under my belt, a ton of research plus medical input, all the mysteries of my life have been solved. Yes! Solved! For years I was visiting the doctors, presenting with several issues over and over, asking them repeatedly for what I sensed had a definitive answer. Not one of those highly paid … More All the Answers

The Colour of Diagnosis

The verdict is in and after seven hours of assessments, I am officially Autistic. A High Functioning Asperger on the Autistic spectrum. All these years living as a neurotypical (NT) person, suddenly I’m from another world. Or am I? At the beginning of this blogging process I’d only just begun the diagnostic journey and whilst … More The Colour of Diagnosis

Cold Isolation

Siberian isolation is such an apt description I heard mother of actor, Jules Robertson, describe of her son’s autistic life before his role in Holby City. In my last blog I asked why people with Autism suffer from isolation and loneliness? To even begin with this requires more thought on my own understanding of Autism. … More Cold Isolation

Truth of Me

It is truly terrifying to have lived a life without understanding why it is a spectacular failure. Waking to a realisation that my world is not what I thought it was and can never be what I wanted it to be, is, by far, one of my most devastating moments. Before and after, a distinct … More Truth of Me