Buried Gifts

Fifty-seven years and I grieve Please turn back the clock Give me my reprieve By not listening you ruined my life And here I am at the end of days Sat on a rubbish heap for the lost In realisation that it is too late Gifts discarded to the four winds Potential held by regret … More Buried Gifts

Poised Dreams

Poised between life and death – too old to start again, not old enough for the pastures, I realise that I am close to the finish line with little evidence of my life or that I even existed. The sadness for me is overwhelming. What I craved and still do crave, was earning a living … More Poised Dreams

Buried Gifts

Oh, how time flies or as my Dad used to say, “Time doesn’t half tempus fugit.” I’ve been absent for a while dealing with ongoing health issues. However, I’m back with a sense of achievement. The Kent Autistic Trust held their AGM this week. I attend one of their support groups and we were asked … More Buried Gifts

All the Answers

With two diagnoses under my belt, a ton of research plus medical input, all the mysteries of my life have been solved. Yes! Solved! For years I was visiting the doctors, presenting with several issues over and over, asking them repeatedly for what I sensed had a definitive answer. Not one of those highly paid … More All the Answers

Small Things

For the past few months I’ve been coming to terms with my new diagnosis of Asperger’s, travelling a winding path of who I am and who ‘they’ are. One small thing that feels uncomfortable is wearing the term ‘Aspie’, my new label. Am I Asperger’s? ASD? Autistic? On the Spectrum? All, I guess, but I … More Small Things

The Colour of Diagnosis

The verdict is in and after seven hours of assessments, I am officially Autistic. A High Functioning Asperger on the Autistic spectrum. All these years living as a neurotypical (NT) person, suddenly I’m from another world. Or am I? At the beginning of this blogging process I’d only just begun the diagnostic journey and whilst … More The Colour of Diagnosis

Truth of Me

It is truly terrifying to have lived a life without understanding why it is a spectacular failure. Waking to a realisation that my world is not what I thought it was and can never be what I wanted it to be, is, by far, one of my most devastating moments. Before and after, a distinct … More Truth of Me