I am the epitome
Of everything feared
I’ve walked to the edge
Of a crumbling cliff
And stared into the abyss
Of a million deaths
Places where dreams fell
Into an earth shattering hell
Where fire consumed the plan
Carried on a devil’s back
One track of ashen footprints
I’ve walked that arid sand
Finally reaching this high point
As you walked the other way
Unwilling to take the leap
The edge collapsed, I jumped
And broke into a thousand shards
Of mirrored lands

Fragments of a life never lived
In the realm of a truth thief
Who stole the vision of me
Obscured the soul
Took the whole of myself

I fell
And I am still falling…


Cognitive Dissonance

What you see is not what you get
Yet I speak my mind with bluntness
Hiding beneath this outer layer
I confuse me
Must confuse you too
What is not clear is what you say
My reply will misconstrue
Puzzled by what seems normal

Conclusions are hard to wear
I drown under judgement
Of perceptions in a lifetime
I walk I talk
Then surely I’m ok
What is not clear is hidden pain
It’s a mask I wear
Pretending to be just like you

When the veneer starts to crack
Your weight shifts away from me
Suspicion lingers of the unknown
You look ok
Is what you say
My struggle to smile is seen
An enigma of rudeness
Reflecting fears that destroy dreams

You blindly sense without thought
Can’t understand our difference
Tolerance floored by dichotomy
You’re not ok
Whispers silently
As your unconscious overrides
Any willingness to truly go
Beyond cognitive dissonance

On BBC Radio 4, a Chinese business man, Nat Wei told how he was bullied for not doing well at classwork. Then he became good at sport thus confusing the bullies – said he created ‘cognitive dissonance’.